songsfortheotherkind.com

Ah, here's a word I was looking for: Autotelic.

From the article:



it relates to flow in this way:



The author and researcher Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has written quite a number of works on flow and creativity, some of which I have. Flow is a state that I love to be in and haven't experienced for about two decades, until recently when dancing: I was once totally autotelic in my way of Being, but entanglement with the issues of others fucked that up for me

now I'm relearning the joy of autotelic Being.

Great word. I'm glad I flowed into it- it's part of the sui generis language and concepts.

*dances*

_________________
"For every lie I unlearn, I learn something new"- Ani DiFranco

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go. ~ TS Elliot

_________________
"For every lie I unlearn, I learn something new"- Ani DiFranco

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go. ~ TS Elliot

Ok, so I just got done trying a three-day water fast. Had to stop last night (second day in) because it felt like influenza. Either this means I have too many toxins in my system or I'm a goofball in need of close supervision, or both. Might try a juice fast in a month or so if I can get my hands on a good juicer...



Awesome. I also really liked capricorn girl in the evolution thread.

I like this alot. After reading it, I believe I can tend to be this way.

I relate to the concept of joy of just 'being' however it is described. I have felt judgments by others because I don't really care about 'external rewards' and my 'simplicity' and orientation of open-minded exploration has been questioned and misunderstood and even threatening to some, which I've never understood. In the past I let that bother me and send me into retreat rather than just going my merry way. It's all good though because being alone for me has never been lonely. There is alot going on in there . I'm getting better at living into this way of being with more confidence.

This is great to read... thank you for it! I'm going to check out this author.

Hey Gekko, for whatever it's worth... I have done cleanses that started with pretty much all raw food (veggies, fruits, nuts) and if one wants, a little lean meat like chicken or salmon, but mostly raw - 3/4 of the plate and lots and lots of vegetable juices and good water. I also started each day with a glass of water and intestinal 'cleanser' and took enzymes before every meal to ease digestion. After a week or so of this I moved into juices only for a few days (I have a GreenStar juicer - maybe check ebay?) ... and then at the very end did a few days of water only.

My point here is that it seems to help to gradually go into it. This is just my own experience. After this, I am careful to ease back into eating making most of my meals raw and I feel it important to take probiotics and continue with enzymes. At the beginning of this process I do not feel very good because of the toxins but after about 3 days I usually feel much better.

I've spent a couple of decades of my life mostly by myself working on personal projects and rarely leaving the house. A lot of the time I was very into what I was working on, and everything around me had an energy to it that kept me company. In more recent years, I've been exploring being around people. I've noticed a loss of connection with myself, and constant seeking of distraction activities that aren't of the kind I used to do. Occasionally I'll connect with myself and become more centered and less interested in distractions or people.

My main point is that I love being by myself but can't sustain it after being knocked off balance by being around people. I keep coming back to the conclusion that I need to stop giving people much priority in my life and follow my desire to enjoy my own company most of the time. It feeds itself so that I become more sensitive to my needs and the depth of my being. People tend to cast a negative light on solitude and being so into oneself, but I say fuck them, I am a huge fan of myself and find other people generally disappointing and shallow.

The main reason I need to be around pepople is to resolve trauma from my childhood. I do need people who will listen while I talk about it and connect with experiences. I need to find people who are really interested in doing the same for themselves so we can have mutually-beneficial listening to each other. This isn't something I can do alone at this point.

Thanks for this. Sounds like a good plan, though I'll probably skip the intestinal cleanser.

I've been applying this one to the issue of my landlord and have been having excellent energetic outcomes. I am interested in modifying it and applying it to any situation that creates a 'charge' in me- I'm interested to see if anyone else gets a useful outcome from it. I find that I mentally have to switch out her words because she deliberately tames her language and concepts, yet the tapping is useful.



I'm keen to hear how others experience it.

_________________
"For every lie I unlearn, I learn something new"- Ani DiFranco

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go. ~ TS Elliot

Oh my, I found her monologue a little irritating - her voice and choice of words, really made me feel antsy, my body was going a little berserk - is that the desired outcome?

I might have it completely wrong but I always thought that you tap in when you need to embody knowledge that is going to nourish you. Not to rework and tap angst back into your body.

I found it interesting to see her tapping into the sides of her body (I tap the top of my head and middle of my chest at the same time).

But I guess that might be intuitive to her needs, and if it works for her that is great.

Have I tried this method yet? No. But I will because I am curious to see what happens.

I am more inclined to do a personal inventory - to just use my voice to speak out and release shit when it starts to give me a charge - talk to it, and right now I am feeling prickly as all hell and I have a ache between my shoulder blades and I am thinking how can this possibly be healing? But my mind is switching now and I think I am behaving like a bit of jerk at the moment but that is because I am dumping these judgements -- and the more I start thinking where my reaction is coming from, I start realising as a write here that I am really responding to my own frustrations of holding onto some sour-ish energies that obviously need releasing. And I have not had a decent dump of late to get rid of them.

Her monologue - still in my mind a wall of words that I switch off from - is perhaps in some mysterious form, a gift.

Ta

_________________
It takes the time it takes ...

I was also trying to figure out what the tapping was doing. I didn't try it, but I imagined a bit that if I did so it would connect me better to my body. I found the video interesting, and somehow branched out to some other tapping things, ending up here today:

I got to a fascinating part around 24 minutes, where he had described how the cell is a bunch of machinery, and got to the point that the brain isn't the DNA (which he calls its gonads), rather signals come through its membrane (skin). He connected that to the skin on our bodies, and mentioned that only one other part of the body gets made during development by the same mechanism: the brain, with all its skin-like folds. I then had this image of myself as a being who had this wonderful organ for being extremely sensitive to the environment around me so that I could take signals from it and embody it. This gave me new respect for sensitivity, and a sense of purpose: to pick up on faint signals around me and give them a home to thrive.