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 Post Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2012 6:15 pm 
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Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go. ~ TS Elliot


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 Post Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2012 7:34 pm 
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The 11th-time German Senior Champion of artistic gymnastics in series, the 86-years old Johanna Quaas from Halle (Germany, Saxony-Anhalt) with her competition on parallel bars, which is one of her four competition apparatus for the agegroups over 70 resp. 80 years . She won this competition, although her rivals were more than 15 years younger! Her exercise on deep parallel bars is part of her all-around program, also with deep horizontal bar, floor exercise and gymnastic bench.


This woman is the tip of the iceberg. There are individuals all over the world that are demonstrating such flexibility, strength and agility well past this age- and they're not doing anything extraordinary, they're just living their vision.

I've met individuals who have become cynical and jaded in their 20's- my eldest son was one of them for awhile. I have also met individuals who have become fathers in their 70's, to women 40 years their junior. The difference is all in the mind, the spirit, the energy that one wishes to tap into- and this is with individuals that generally know nothing regarding the Otherrealms and the possibilities within these.

So part of the issue for me has been to dissolve the constant programming regarding what is and isn't possible with this biological avatar. I've discovered in the past, through my experiments with multiple 'personalities', that the avatar is infinitely malleable, although when we decided to maintain one external Self this ability muted, much to my annoyance. We're exploring what level of slide is necessary to reactivate the ability to shift the body's appearance, which is proving interesting.

There are other things that are proving more productive- this I'll write about next. :)

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Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go. ~ TS Elliot


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 Post Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 9:37 pm 
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I've had some amazing experiences with exploring the physical bodies within this one today, things that I wanted to talk about but now have no energy or inclination for.

I'm leaving this as a reminder for me to write about it at some point.

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Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go. ~ TS Elliot


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 Post Posted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 12:02 am 
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Awesome, so awesome- I've just gotten home, dripping with sweat and glowing with happiness after two solid hours of dance jam, with Miss Eight strutting her stuff in a big way. She's a stunning dancer and a joy to dance with, I'm looking forward to our four days away in October at Dancing Ground- I'm getting to know members of the dance community here in my area, all these individuals that love to communicate without words. It's going to be awesome raising the girls in such an open community. :D

I did something recently that I want to point out to the board, and talk about why I did it. I don't know how many here were paying attention, but I deliberately made quite a few posts calling in the Loki signal and that was utterly and specifically for my Self, for very specific reasons.

Loki isn't anything like the portrayals of 'him'. I'm not going to go into the physics of how he's also not a single Being, that's a different conversation entirely; suffice to say that it's complicated only in terms of the solid state physics that operate here. Yes, I'm being obscure, but not because I'm being mysterious, I just want to talk about this thing that I want to talk about rather than the physics of the otherrealms right now.

I've been watching the patterns here for awhile, trying to figure out what was going on with it all, seeing the strange stuckness and gluey energies, the elephants in the room, but not knowing how to shift it. I tried a few different things, with the same rather blah outcomes, and it has really had me intrigued- and sometimes frustrated- at what was happening. Something Curt said about creatives and the paths of creatives really struck a chord in me and so I've been exploring this behind my own scenes, feeling into the signal and seeing what was there for me. My dance practice has also been helping me explore this signal, because embodiment is a big thing in my life.

I was looking at the energy I was using to create the first Pub, and create the Art that I do in terms of the sui generis- from how focused I had been in following the signal, and in mapping it, exploring the realms for the language and the platforms, connecting to my signal in major ways in order to map the virus- and I was reminded that for the large part it was a solitary journey. I have struggled with anxiety disorder most of my life- no surprises there, it's how it's been- and with the virus having a go from within at every opportunity I've spent many, many years of really bad nights, alone with my body freaking and my brain leaking out of my ears, silently pacing through the house so as not to wake my kids or sleeping lover; I'd only wake Triffid if the shaking got so bad I couldn't move properly. I've done this for decades, on my own, mapping, moving through the virus and it's been the foundation of my Art.

The act of creating Art is a solitary thing. The writer sits in solitary, the visual artist, the sculptor, the actor, the dancer; even when things look like they're being done in collaboration the Artist can't truly create unless they're solidly connected to their core, to their internal richness and inspiration- if it's not coming from there, anything they're creating is going to ring hollow. All creation comes from the solitary vision within and to do that, there needs to be an embracing of this by the individual.

Evolution is a creative act. At least for me it is. I've realised on a deeper level that what I was looking for when I created this forum was a collaborative community, a bunch of fellow creatives and co-creatives who had the desire to take the sui generis and use it as the medium for amazing and engaging Art. I was looking for experimentation, individuals with a passion for invention and exploration, who really grok the significance of the platform I've been working on and who want to expand it into a greater vision. I wasn't actually truly clear that this was what I was wanting, and I'm much clearer now.

Instead of remaining in collaborative co-creation and staying focused on what it was that I was wanting to create, the Art of the sui generis and autonomy, I got slowly sidetracked into social aspects of the connections here, which is a very subtle and nonetheless powerful entanglement for a creative. It's a potential energy trap, one that has to be managed really consciously and well in order to not allow it to suck one under. It's not that the individuals involved are necessarily a problem, it's that the virus inspired way of doing social connection is problematic and sticky. Vision and creative passion can dissipate beneath the surface of something that seems connected but often isn't- and that often isn't apparent until the depth of the connections are tested in one way or another.

I test stuff, all the time. It's the nature of Loki/evolution energy and it's what I do in my life. Does anyone here really think I'm *not* going to go poking in things that seem rather odd? It's what I do. I go poking about in my own stuff and if something comes into my space that piques my curiousity then I'll go poking about in that; this happens because I have a passion for what works within a micro-macro parameter. Somewhere along the way this became a Bad Thing and it's been bugging me in my backbrain, nagging at me, because I couldn't quite tell what I'd done.

What I think I did was sell my Self out in a few ways for the sake of connection. I let my own voice and vision taper out a bit for the sake of wanting to be a part of something- and in a way I am, I know that, this community here is pretty special in many ways- and at the same time I'm also still the creator of something that very, very few grok. I'm still the carrier of a signal that has been designed to undo empire in such a way that the virus will be dissolved in its rabid form: one doesn't completely dissolve the virus because another name for virus is evolution spore, it's the unbalanced form that's a problem. I've got so much here, in my signal, that hasn't been anywhere near expressed about it

and that's my own doing, because I got caught up in the social side of the co-creation at the expense of the creation its Self. I've gone through this as part of my reminder process, I know that, the reminder that my inner creative world is actually my life, not the external. I never really fit in anywhere, and that's only a problem if I think it is, and sometimes there's been something in me that thinks it's a problem- but the action of trying to fit anything only costs me hugely in terms of derailing my creative action, the space where my vision becomes tangible. It's the tangible that I have always found problematic.

I know what I'm interested in. I'm looking at shifting how I do things here in terms of creative tangibility, manifesting tangible expression of the sui generis Art I have in me. I'm watching my Self drop the sociable in favour of the more authentic me, which is different. I've learned that the things I've always been afraid of in terms of social interactions are going to happen no matter what I do, so I may as well just relax and be my Self, including going back to writing the way I originally used to in the Pub, where I'd let the concepts flow the way that I think them, rather than trying to simplify it for others. I'm looking for those who are willing to give it a go when I write it that way: simplifying it doesn't work in terms of having to deal with the fallout of individuals thinking that they know what I'm talking about when they actually don't.

I'm looking in a different direction now. I have great affection and love for individuals here. I'm being honest and saying that I'm changing the way I do things, and the focus that I'll be bringing here- I'd love for travelling companions and if they're not going to happen, ok. I am giving my Self permission to not simplify things, including my Self and my internal landscape.

I called to Loki because I know he brings me evolution in a language that I delight in; he loves it as much as I do. I'm looking for others that would rather be curious about their own process than anything else, and that are truly up for shifting out of the consciousness of this paradigm. It's what I love to do. :)

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"For every lie I unlearn, I learn something new"- Ani DiFranco

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go. ~ TS Elliot


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 Post Posted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 12:14 am 
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going back to writing the way I originally used to in the Pub, where I'd let the concepts flow the way that I think them


Please do, it makes the dance more fluid :) And in the end may lead to better comprehension anyways.


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 Post Posted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 1:34 am 
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I've noticed that I don't deal with people in a way that I can keep tabs or "maintain" things. I come first and I interact when it's useful to me or I want to contribute to them (give them an ear while they talk about what's going on for them). This is based on what I've observed that's there; to do otherwise would require a draining simulation of involvement.

I'd like to see you do whatever comes naturally and not spend energy on doing what you think would please others here. If that means more one-way posts, then fine. It would be setting an example for others to be more bold in asserting things about their own experiences. I have this concept of people's communications "leaning" on others. At one end, someone can be very dependent on how something is received, constantly adjusting their tone and message based on immediate feedback from others, often requiring the receiver to take it a certain way. At the other end, a person can deliver a long message in a powerful way that talks about their experience and doesn't make claims about others' or the world, where the receiver can adopt any stance without friction. I strive towards the latter and it sounds like you're talking about something like this as well.

When someone authentically talks to me about their life and what's going on, really gets into it without holding back, I am very thankful and inspired, even if it involves me sitting there listening for an hour and not saying a word. There's a kind of depth that occurs and I find myself swimming in their world, having lucid thoughts and models of what they're talking about. One time someone talked about a relationship with someone over the years, and afterwards I couldn't help but full a page with notes and a map of everything they had described.

I noticed that I'm doing something I hate to do, because my father would do it. He wanted me to feel a certain thing and would attempt to bring it about by talking about things that he thought would cause me to feel or think whatever it is he wanted. It was undesired because it was manipulative. I noticed I was doing that above, trying to make you feel OK about doing what you were describing about lessening your expression here for the sake of connection. That's not all I was doing, but it influenced what I talked about.


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 Post Posted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 11:42 am 
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prairie wrote:
I noticed that I'm doing something I hate to do, because my father would do it. He wanted me to feel a certain thing and would attempt to bring it about by talking about things that he thought would cause me to feel or think whatever it is he wanted. It was undesired because it was manipulative. I noticed I was doing that above, trying to make you feel OK about doing what you were describing about lessening your expression here for the sake of connection. That's not all I was doing, but it influenced what I talked about.


I really appreciated your entire post, but this was the real gem for me. Thank you so much for your way of observing your inner Self and then sharing that observation without drama, beating your Self up, any crap or load. I deeply value and appreciate this element in you, that stillness reminds me of my Otherkind family. It's rare here.

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Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go. ~ TS Elliot


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 Post subject: Practical alchemy.
 Post Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 8:12 am 
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So this morning I was up at 5am (after waking Triffid up at 4am, but that's not what I'm writing about) and now I'm working on material for my vision board: this morning it's mind mapping.

I've got a heap of projects that I'm working on and it's all feeling rather tangled in my head, so I'm taking out the time at wonderfully early o'clock (when the world is peaceful and everyone is asleep) to put up big sheets of paper, sit here with my multicolored art pens and create mind maps of my projects, so that I can break down the process of bringing these into vision. I want to get hold of a scanner so that I can upload my maps and be talking about the individual visions and how things are going with regards bringing them into the tangible.

Is there anyone else that has things they want to move from dream to tangible? Anyone want support with that? I have a lot of BIG visions and frankly, I could do with the support in bringing these into this reality.

I want to dissolve the dominant virus expression, the paradigm that currently holds sway. I want to have conversations with David Icke, and Graham Hancock, and all those other males that are out there putting out just another form of the heteronomy. I want to bring the sui generis, the autonomy, the evolution, the power of true Creators into the conversations, into the energy, and offer a totally different direction to go in.

There are things that can break down for this and that's what I'm working on. We've finally got the recording facility on the computers working, so that's another step along the way. We've discovered that our webcam is too crap a quality to film from, so a new camera is required. We're sorting the webstreaming thing for the talks, as well as the recording. Other things to sort are turning these into a radio show; get two youtube vids done before Graham Hancock gets here next month; organise the meeting with the editor of the Echo to get articles on the sui generis into the regional media; start dealing with the police matter that's been brought to my door; dance a LOT!; get my sui generis/Live Birth ID sorted; keep holding the space to get to Portland next June if that's going to be useful; organise with Max to be interviewed on his radio show after he gets back from Palestine; get the meetings here grounded and happening-

that's off the top of my head. There's other stuff- getting my passport shifted to diplomatic, getting rid of this rubbish with driving 'licenses'- we're creating a company to register the cars to, so that's no hassle- get the titles back for our cars and then move them into the private; find the property for Moonhaven (earlier steps for this include getting Helio to organise the meeting with the multi-millionaires that want to bankroll it); find a PA, a support team and a nanny for the girls, to help me get this up and running as fast as I can.

Physically, I'm ready to start focused martial arts training- I'd rather it was Systema because I don't intend to fuck around if I'm pushed into action, so in the spirit of following through on this I just broke from writing to google the Systema Australia association and fired off an email asking about local classes. My big thing is getting over my fear of gun wielding individuals- I want to know what to do if an individual is pointing a gun at me with intention of harming me, essentially. It's not because I think this is going to happen, it's part of my process of getting over the primal fear I have of police, which I learned on Friday is still very much alive when I got pulled over for unregistered vehicle; the fear I endure physically is as if I'm being confronted by the SS, which is curious for me to explore anyway, but I'm profoundly aware of that level of energy in me when I'm around them. It's not useful, it makes my brain a gibbering idiot and I say way too much, which I'm now annoyed with my Self for and I'm trying to let go of that. So yeah, getting over the fear of gun carrying individuals is a good thing for me to do. :)

Now I'm going to go work on my maps some more. :D

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"For every lie I unlearn, I learn something new"- Ani DiFranco

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go. ~ TS Elliot


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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 8:59 am 
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Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go. ~ TS Elliot


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 Post Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 10:55 am 
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An article on trauma

excerpt:

Quote:
The important part of this definition in my practice is the emphasis on “unique individual experience”. You get to define which experiences are traumatic for you, whether or not it would impact others in the same manner. It’s not the objective facts that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your own emotional experience of the event.


This article contains a link to another article on the psychiatry profession's continued 'debate' as to whether sexual orientation is something requiring a 'cure'- article here. Yes, in the 21st century, this is still seriously debated, with some therapists considering that anything other than 'normal' heterosexuality is a pathology to be cured.

This is one of the many reasons why I am incapable of turning a blind eye to the virus in whatever form it manifests. These things, *to me*, are important to speak out about, and to hold a clear signal for. That's how I roll: I'm like this about the virus, the heteronomy and the dissolving of the paradigm, I'm as intently focused as Stephen Hawking.

These articles came from this one on creativity and its connection to healing from trauma, which is a passion of mine, as I'm deeply interested in the exploration of fostering high creativity *without* trauma and these triangulations interlink for me. The article details a number of highly creative, famous women talking about the trauma in their backgrounds- Charlize Theron saw her mother shoot her father in self defense, Ashley Judd developed hypervigilance (one of the markers for ptsd and something I lived with for the first three and a half decades of my life) as a result of a violently abusive parent, and many other women talking about their lives and how they have used creativity to embrace, process and heal their trauma. The blog that this article comes from is focused on highly sensitive/highly gifted individuals and creativity, with many articles exploring the links between this and trauma. It's one of my inspiration/exploration sources.

These are subjects that I'm passionate about. My passion emerges as a laserlike focus (sometimes known ashyperfocus, part of the function of the state of flow: it is an intensity that appears at times ferocious but only so to those that aren't familiar with the state, generally due to not being able to experience it themselves.

I'm giving my Self permission to stop apologising for this state, my expression of it, for being able to do it when others can't, and for enjoying the way my mind and Self works.

Image

I'm going to focus more on triggering highly creative states, both in my mind and body, which means I'm giving my Self permission to get away from the computer more and do deep body and trance work. I'm living into what living in a state of giving my Self permission feels like and emerges as. It's a fascinating landscape in my journey. :)

Image

I've decided that 'be careful with the Fae' is a good caution for those that might forget where they're treading...

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"For every lie I unlearn, I learn something new"- Ani DiFranco

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go. ~ TS Elliot


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