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| Alone in a crowd http://songsfortheotherkind.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=197 |
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| Author: | GoingOn [ Sun Jul 07, 2013 8:50 am ] |
| Post subject: | Alone in a crowd |
You are sane and empathetic. You know the feeling: alone in a crowd.  You are invited to use this thread to report, analyze and question living more autonomously in an increasingly heteronomous world. Ask for triangulation if you want help with stumbling blocks. Debug, discard and defrag, dance in delight, open that newly uncovered door, none of the above, or all of the above. Wherever you are, you are here. |
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| Author: | GoingOn [ Sun Jul 07, 2013 9:04 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Alone in a crowd |
In order to walk in the space of my true nature on the path I ramble about here, I released memories of past encounters. I don't know how that happens. It didn't seem to require any effort at all, which I suspect is important for me to know.  Recently I discovered how much fun it is to use an impact wrench. This equipment was key to dismantling a physical barrier within my house, which in turn was key to opening sufficient space to continue changing my 3D experiences. The above paragraph is a truth both three dimensionally and in a real sense.  Three dimensionally, the road from “trapped” to “not trapped” started with a one-on-one discussion, followed by a retail interaction, and ending with actual use of the equipment. In a real sense, the road was longer and had more turns. Recognize the obstacle. Make several attempts to remove the obstacle with the equipment on hand. Decide to ask for help. Determine who has the best knowledge and skills to provide help. Ask for help. Accept help. Obtain the required equipment, practice with it, use it, and dispose of the obstacle’s remnants.  Three dimensionally, it was refreshing to find a retail salesperson who did not display obvious signs of discomfort while helping a woman select an appropriate power tool. Actually using the impact wrench put significantly more power into my actions, yet the wrench remained under my control so I was able to direct that extra power. I’ve already labored to earn money, so I’ll give some of that money to someone in exchange for removing the left-over debris. In a real sense, I walked in the space that is my true nature without setting expectations of the outcome. I had accepted that removing the obstacle might be beyond my abilities, and I was prepared to try various methods, even ones I had no memory of using previously, until I was no longer able to do (or no longer interested in doing) anything about the obstacle. Dismantling the obstacle isn’t enough; the remnants need to be dealt with. 
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| Author: | songsfortheotherkind [ Mon Jul 08, 2013 9:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Alone in a crowd |
This is a gorgeous thread. I am still here; mine and En's evolution envelopes us on a daily basis to the degree that we are unable to do anything other than the evolution, the sui generis, the dropping ever more deeply into the connection with our core essence, and thus the Source: we are immersed in this, to the point where nothing else is relevant. I am emerging from one cocoon after another  one Self coalescing after another, until I am enveloped in a cloud of my own emerging cohesion  we have been having adventures; En met Max Igan this weekend, because Max and I are friends, and because Max is going to interview me on his radio show about my sui generis life art, and our (En's and my) focused vision for it. It was a strange time, there was much learning and another deepening of our evolution. En's own integrity and courage gives me greater wings than I've ever had before. He inspires me to move into greater honesty and expression on a daily basis; it is the same inspiration that we want to hold for all those who are deeply wanting to wake up. We embrace the Other within us, with the light of Evolution leading us on into the uncharted territory of moving beyond the human noise.  I am profoundly grateful that we aligned our Selves in the Everywhen to be together in this experience of 'now'; I have been so lonely and alone, was getting so exhausted with it all despite my willingness to continue and now I have the experience of once again being with the most integral and beautiful Being I've ever known. I am content to continue Being my Self until he moves enough virus out of the way to truly see me; I am living into the knowing that out in the Everywhen he sees the beauty of me even if he sometimes struggles to see it here. 
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| Author: | GoingOn [ Wed Jul 17, 2013 6:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Alone in a crowd |
The Fractal Process. In my this life, the fractal process has not been an instant process. It is so simple, it feels difficult. Just put aside all the unnecessary drivel and what is left is the fractal process.  Setting and confidently holding appropriate boundaries in one area leads to having appropriate boundaries in many areas. My energy works best in small doses of intense activity. My employer prefers to see people moving and doing at all times, even knowing most of the activity my coworkers display revolves around their personal lives. My employer sometimes comments that I could be more productive if I would just engage in non-stop activity from the time I arrive at work until the moment I leave the building. I do not grasp this intense need for constant production. The world is not a better place whether I work overtime or take a day off. My coworkers and, indeed, my employer are slowly realizing the work doesn't get done as quickly or accurately if I am not running about, finding and fixing a multitude of mistakes. They have yet to realize this is how their world will soon be, once I am no longer physically part of their mad whorl. I have already withdrawn intellectually from it.  I’m still getting the current house into a state that’s ready to put it ‘for sale’ at which point one waits for a ‘buyer’ to meet the basic requirements to ‘complete the transaction.’ So many layers, independent yet each touching the next and all so very similar yet completely unique. I apply my energy in small doses of intense activity and push aside the unnecessary drivel. 
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| Author: | GoingOn [ Thu Jul 18, 2013 7:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Alone in a crowd |
songsfortheotherkind wrote: I am still here; mine and En's evolution envelopes us on a daily basis to the degree that we are unable to do anything other than the evolution, the sui generis, the dropping ever more deeply into the connection with our core essence, and thus the Source: we are immersed in this, to the point where nothing else is relevant What an empowering feeling you describe, sharing evolution and connection. Gentle, powerful, unstoppable, unfathomable, the artist repeatedly editing and uncovering. Your experience now transcends the exhaustion of being lonely. This appears to me as the depth of joy, the breadth of inspiration and the height of peace with a pinch of wonderment.  I spent several days reflecting this into my life, testing my absorption ability. This in part is why this response is so delayed. My reaction to the exhaustion of living with human/sociopathic "family members", whether chosen before birth or after (lifetime after lifetime), is to wrap myself with layers of soft, comfy nothingness to quietly deflect humans. If a fellow humanish was within my orbit, would we see each other? A concept that appeals to my mind is continuing while another individual moves enough virus out of the way to truly see.  songsfortheotherkind wrote: the uncharted territory of moving beyond the human noise Oh yes.  A major step for me was shutting down the noise I am. The only regular interactions I have at this time-space occur at my workplace, which is a fractal expression of the region. As I babbled previously, I have all but withdrawn. There is no gain for most individuals to hear me. They fear change, advancement, and above all, facing fear. These are the actual words and observed energies they consistently present. The wise warrior eventually learns when to stop fighting.  A form of cognitive dissonance slowed me down for a while. Then I realized part of my job description, “Design more efficient ways for staff to complete tasks” actually means “Don’t change this office”. This is their choice, their right, their path. Their map is not my map.  songsfortheotherkind wrote: we have been having adventures; En met Max Igan this weekend, because Max and I are friends, and because Max is going to interview me on his radio show about my sui generis life art, and our (En's and my) focused vision for it. It was a strange time, there was much learning and another deepening of our evolution. If you wish to detail, I'd love to hear it. 
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| Author: | GoingOn [ Sat Jul 20, 2013 3:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Alone in a crowd |
Individuals who appear around me may not be experiencing the timeline I’m experiencing.  Time is not mandatory. |
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| Author: | GoingOn [ Mon Jul 29, 2013 6:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Alone in a crowd |
 After all these years, I still have trouble getting the concept of time into my head. |
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| Author: | songsfortheotherkind [ Thu Aug 15, 2013 10:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Alone in a crowd |
oh, the concept of time is increasingly so useless to me that I have had to develop new methods of navigating the space that others require me to live into.  En in the garden, harvesting yakon. We're eating mostly vegan, raw food these days partly because I can no longer process much cooked food: my body simply wants more and more pure food, we function so much better with it. I wish you could all be connected to what's happening in our lives on a daily basis... |
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| Author: | GoingOn [ Mon Aug 26, 2013 4:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Alone in a crowd |
  On the topic of 'time', I wanted to reply to this message before, but the body I'm in from time to time seems to be having a difficult time of it lately.  And I'm not really sure anymore what's before.  Sometimes ....  So ....
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| Author: | songsfortheotherkind [ Mon Mar 03, 2014 6:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Alone in a crowd |
nongods, has it really been so long since I've been here? My concept of time really has gone out the window... En and I are more shiny and beautiful together than ever, I'm writing, creating, evolving and living in the bush inland from where I used to be. I really suck at communicating everything that has been going on for me though... |
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