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 Post Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:09 pm 
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omg and lol I had to look up 'shag' in this context

Quick update

I think we all know I epically fail at being human, and I'm losing interest in being humanish.

Since 'the noiseless light' I have spoken many truths in the office where I'm still employed. Things like "There's yet another reason I will never fit in here; when someone lives true to their word, y'all hate them for not bending to make you feel special. Don't hold your breath!" and "Oh, have you confused me for someone who does not tell the truth?"

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sorry for the immense size, I epically failed at smalling, at this time

It isn't that I don't like the people in the office, it's that I completely trust them to be true to their nature as I experience it. Amazingly enough, they do not disappoint. Amazingly enough, I'm still employed. (Long story short, I expect to be here for a few more months ... at least until most of the snow melts....) I spend a lot of time 'feeling' my wings which often coincides with people leaving my office space quickly, shooting side-eyes at me.

Much as I would like to blame the noiseless light ... um, no. I do believe I am very close to diving in and completely ignoring the surrounding terrain which is all illusion anyway
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Did I mention I live close to but not within viewing distance of many large rocky mountains?

We are now 'required by law' to use the bloody mercury stupid light bulbs and the other night I closed my eyelids and instead of seeing the traditional lines and shines, I saw right through my eyelids and was still looking at everything in the room. I squished my eyes tightly closed and saw the pulsing coming from the light. You can imagine how calmly I handled that, like a right mature adult....
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:lol: Rock on, 2013.


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 Post Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 8:38 pm 
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Quick update: Hullo and how are your experiences at this point in space-time?

It seems I'm being pulled through time backwards, so that certain events I remember have not yet happened, while animals and plants are fighting to remain in "time" as their bodies experience it which seems to be spring-time (versus the return and re-return of serious winter). Some timeline shifts border on painful, while others are almost funny. Or, you know, I could be mad. Or all of the above.
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If I be not mad, am I co-creator of the madness? The more I speak my truths, and I mean verbal and written expression capturing injustices and my reactions, the more openly people express awareness of timeline shifts. So sci-fi. So wacky. You simply must be putting this on, GoingOn. Timelines are the stuff of TV and movie scripts, maybe maybe dreams ... not reality.

I do not disagree. There is much that is not reality, and I lack the skills to identify that which is reality. This is experience, not reality. I experience my dreams, I experience my office environment, I experience gang stalking, I experience aging, I experience ..... I experience, I do not reality. Do you?
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"For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen"
- Douglas Adams

What is that like, to have nothing happen? Maybe that's reality .... :lol:
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 Post Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 5:22 am 
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I am
am I?

I know it
and it knows.

Filling up the space for a bit. Only because I don't want to be always leaving this space without leaving something behind.

I have still not found this place called home. At least I actually trust here to just say ...

I live.

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It takes the time it takes ...


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 Post Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 6:15 pm 
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Missing intelligent interactions and after much ado, I'm typing on a new(er) computer. Not as much software as I would like, tho. Not yet. Also, not as much "spring weather" as I would like:
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Y'all probably think that's a load of bull, but there you have it.
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 Post Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2013 5:27 pm 
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Still thinking of everyone here.
Still surrounded by snow and ice.
Kind of a great metaphor, I guess.


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 Post Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 3:57 pm 
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This post invites replies :shock:

Throughout this existence, my body experiences migraines. My experience with the Canadian health care system is, practitioners (the ones who keep practising) ask "what triggers your migraines?" and I reply "Living here." This does not build the kind of doctor-patient bond one might have hoped for. Here's a typical doctor reaction:
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One of my biggest failings (and I have a lot of failings, many of them quite stunningly immense) is: I tell the truth. Oh, woe to the truth-teller!

I was not lying when I said "living here" is what causes my migraines and I stand by that. My migraines are linked to stress -- not my stress, I don't do stress this time around -- the stress that is living on this planet in this country in various societies I've placed myself. My current locale (as I've moaned about before and yes, I'm still here: Image so go ahead and judge me) is not the biggest problem.

The problem is the stress of so-called societies. It's the advertising that distracts drivers, the bylaws that make it virtually impossible for anyone to be a fully law-abiding citizen, the concept of being a citizen, the drain of living and working in a climate that necessitates both heating and cooling, the inexplicable money thing (I have not yet understood why humans believe money is required for anything) ....

I feel all of this and my body reacts from this:
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to this:
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to a semi-meltdown, which is what I'm in now. Migraine + tremors + really interesting digestive disturbances and a side helping of significant loss of feeling/control of one leg and arm.

Now, my employer wants a doctor's note to explain my condition. That isn't going to happen. At best, at best, my doctor will say it appears I am (again) experiencing chronic migraines. Which is only a partial truth. And said doctor will in all likelihood provide me with a prescription for yet another man-made medication that either won't work or will cause side-effects more disabling than what I'm accustomed to managing.

The doctor is probably not going to acknowledge that what my body displays is a direct reflection of what's going on in the world around me. The doctor probably isn't even going to notice the mirror effect. He (my doctor appears to interact with the world as the masculine) isn't trained or paid to notice mirror effects and, further, if he did escape years of being trained to not notice mirror effects, he would be ostracized. Like me.

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I like being on my own and it seems most humans do not enjoy that. Being alone with your thoughts, something I cherish, seems to scare the living shit out of them. So I do not anticipate getting anything more than a note with a lie and a prescription with no value.

The reason I am whining here is, I am struggling to cope three dimensionally. Interacting with humans is now more than draining, it is painful. Making decisions about how to get this house in shape to be sold is painful. None of this matters to me. Yet I know, at some level, I'm here to experience the 3D zone.
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What was I thinking? :roll:


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 Post Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 7:10 pm 
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You are not alone in this by any means, it's one of the reasons I struggle to write anything at all these days. I've found a possible workaround with that, which I shall try implementing this week.

En and I are pretty

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about pretty much everything to do with the human world. We are currently planning on moving onto acreage out the back of Nimbin in order to create some space between us and the muggles/zombie hordes/general population who are just ASKING for a spiritual

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here's a suggestion: sell your place. Move here. Enjoy the attention of doctors that GET the metaphysical connection between 'I feel like shit' and "I hate living on this planet at this time". Not everywhere is so sucky. When it becomes too sucky to live in Australia, we'll all mooch off and live somewhere else.

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here is an individual I know named Rusty, in his garden- google 'Rusty's Garden' and you will find this image. He lives out the back of Nimbin with his lovely partner, someone I like far more than I like Rusty, but that is beside the point- the point is, it is possible to interact with gardens like this here if you know where to plant them. Rusty does. So do I. This makes the back of Nimbin a rather fun place to consider living (not Nimbin itself, because Nimbin is a hole).

En and I want to grow amazing gardens

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and build beautiful cob houses

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play with sacred geometric art in 3D

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meditate under pyramids beneath the full moon and generally get into bringing the new Mythos in so that we don't have to deal with the

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because

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most individuals are simply not worth engaging with these days.

I'll take some time out to see if I can get the video updates happening. :)

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"For every lie I unlearn, I learn something new"- Ani DiFranco

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go. ~ TS Elliot


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 Post Posted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 6:44 pm 
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How much would I enjoy living wherever you are, Songs!

Oh, wait – I am. We’re plodding through this experience and, in reality, we are not separated. Perhaps we have never been separated. That’s how it feels to me.

It’s funny, what I feel and what I don’t, because I only feel important things now, like the other day my boss stepped on my foot and then tried to lift his foot and somehow his shoe stuck to my shoe and he pulled my leg sideways from the knee down and he screamed as if he’d seen a spider aaaand that was when I realized he was somehow involved with the leg I can’t feel and, well, I was fairly entertained.
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Warning: the rest of this is a hypocritical post.

I have a vague memory of thinking that words were a cumbersome process, and wondering why the bigs around me insisted that I use them.
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Recently, I heard (or re-heard) “words are the virus of influence.”
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A while ago, I was on the phone with a gentleman who asked if I’d seen a certain type of equipment and he was at a loss for words to describe the equipment. I said ‘just picture it, I’ll tell you if I’ve seen it or not’ and he said ‘I can’t, I’m not telepathic’ and I said ‘that’s OK, I see what you’re thinking of and yes, I have seen it.’
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Maybe he freed up the image by switching his focus from ‘words to describe’ to ‘explain why I can’t do that.’ Or maybe I’m insane. Maybe those two tracks are not mutually exclusive.

My current paying job requires me to input and output a lot of words, verbally and written. A lot. A massive, steaming amount of words.
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Tonight, I realized this is a major reason why I will soon be unable to continue, not just in this job, but any job that requires me to input and output via this cumbersome process. :lol:


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 Post Posted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:40 pm 
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Thinking.

Some viruses (viri?) are passed on from external sources and some are generated from internal sources. Most, likely all, viruses attach to internal wounds. The wounds needs not be huge and gaping and the impact of the virus does not depend on the size or depth of the wound.
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One might locate a virus in the process of discovering a wound. One might engage in a legitimate critique of behavior and recognize a virus. One might discover the doorway to multiple viruses in the process of recognizing a single virus.
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One might fail to recognize a virus disguised as ‘acceptable behaviour’, such as “look at all the things wrong with me, that I must fix, because my body is aging!”
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A virus may appear dense or thin, solid or translucent, ear-piercing or almost silent, shiny or matte, spiky or smooth, multi-tentacled or legless, citrusy or putrid, clear or murky, hot or cold, angry or sad, or any combination of these. The appearance may change rapidly, cycle through various modalities, or remain in one stable configuration.
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A virus seeks the company of both similar and compatible viruses. Like a jigsaw puzzle trying to put itself together, a virus that causes abuse seeks a virus that allows abuse (and the best fit is when the type of abuse matches).
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If no such virus is easily available, a virus that causes abuse will seek a virus that causes abuse.

A virus does not need to be destroyed to be deactivated. Deactivating is as easy and as difficult as locating and detaching the virus, and not having any other place for the virus to re-attach.
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Relationships change when a given virus is no longer active in a body. Some relationships strengthen. Some go into a wavy pattern with peaks and valleys.
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Some relationships cannot continue without a similar virus in both bodies.

Some viruses are so prevalent, entire careers are built around them.
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Which reminds me: I strongly suspect money is a virus with built-in transmittable viruses.

Anyway, I was slightly amazed to find a person I've interacted with for several years, through business, is recognizing viruses, dealing with them, and noticing the prevalence in our local and national "culture". Which is what prompted this word version of thought forms.


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 Post Posted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 4:15 pm 
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I am still here, reading and reaching out to you all. I am also evolving in ways that cannot be adequately expressed in words. So much of what you've written here in this thread is so applicable to what we are going through here, and what I am wanting. I'm trying to organise my life so that it has the minimum drama, but I live with individuals for whom drama is a way of being and it's difficult. En and I are not those kind of Beings, so it can be draining. I'm bewildered by how I'm supposed to be doing all this evolution while dealing with so much fucking trivia- I'm trying so hard to make my life as minimalist and drama-less as possible, why the fuck isn't Energy supporting my efforts? It makes me shake my head and wonder if those who were supposed to help us out here have forgotten we're here and have just wandered off for a protracted lunch break.

It's giving me the shits. The evolution side of things is mindblowingly awesome, and would be even more so if things were simpler, less full of mundane noise and crap. I'm striving the best I can to achieve that, and sometimes it feels sublime- En helps with that. :)

The Sungod and the Bridge Between Chaos and Order, still holding space here...

_________________
"For every lie I unlearn, I learn something new"- Ani DiFranco

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go. ~ TS Elliot


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