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Posted by Zebra
I love to hear about how others attend to their inner health and well being. This is a treat. Over the years I have embarked and held onto a number of regimes - which is not the word I want to use - because I feel it connotes something that I enforce upon myself, rather than flow into and feel where it naturally belongs.
The thing I have discovered in my own journey is that where things naturally belong and where I find my Self are often worlds apart. For decades I struggled with keeping anything 'worldly', including the practices and ideas of others, out of my space because I experienced everything as being loaded with virus; what I discovered through this long process was that I kept my Self out mostly through the fear response I'd learned to have towards everything not me, rather than strong and positive intuition. I then would take on practices because I thought I was 'supposed' to, using the parameters of others that had no true relevance or relationship for me.
I don't stick to anything. I pick things up and put them down because if I'm flowing with my process certain things are relevant and useful at times and then not. This includes supplements, what I eat and what energy/consciousness/physical practices I do. One of the things that challenges me about this is that I frequently don't give my Self the space and experiences that I truly want and that are calling to me because I get tangled in my connections to and with others. This is something I'm currently working through in a big way- I have little choice, if I want to stay open and healthy, because my life has become chock full of individuals I'm finding my Self loving. *laughing* The lessons are coming to me thick and fast and I've had to lift my game from slothing along to alert and deep focus practically overnight. This has been an excellent kick in the arse.
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I am very much a work in progress and at times, I am excrutiatingly aware of falling by the way due to a lack of self esteem. I will let old emotional patterns of response to rear up and I end up sabotaging. I do make headway, I am not stunted but I am aware that a deeper level of release and shift is very much required. At least I am aware of this but I continue to have holding patterns, which I know do not serve me.
Before I fully got the full scope and function of the virus and how it works within me, I used to beat the crap out of my Self. Now I know what the game with it is- to keep me from my sui generis- and that it most definitely is something that has been intentionally and intricately manufactured with the specific intent to be both a trap and the mirror, I am much much more adept at dealing with the sabotage it creates, seeing all those behaviours and traps as something in front of me, something playing chess with me when I don't like to play chess at all, so I change the game. Seeing the patterns within as one's personal map of the virus can be utterly transformative- I know that this has happened for several individuals with whom I've come into physical and/or energetic contact.
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For example, I know there are parts of my body, where I still hold onto 'old stuff' that time and again I look for ways to release. And just when I start sensing change, something happens to test me, and I find I can not sustain the changes that I have started. I notice this mostly through my knees (bear in mind here that I never want to resort to surgical solutions) because I still hold faith in the power of self healing.
The tests are triggering the internal beliefs- that's how the virus works. Personally, these days I embrace the lessons of the virus with deep appreciation because it's like those within the Cabal that are working towards bringing the system down; the virus has become a powerful 'dark' ally, so that while I might not enjoy the tools that it has for bringing things to my attention (the physical symptoms of toxic poisoning and adrenal attack are distressing in the extreme), I have learned if I pay attention at the first sign of trouble, go looking for whatever it is that the virus is bringing to my attention and deal with it, the attack ceases. The virus and I have found a way to dance with one another for our mutual benefit, because in embracing my own dark passenger I am gifted the most accurate and aware ally in navigating the virus at large- it is, after all, an aspect of it- and I can free my own alabaster skin and white eyes in the process.
Our Shadows hold the key to what really needs to happen in terms of the virus, when we learn Shadow language. I know now that the elemental Virus created me strives constantly, in her own sharp clawed and bloodstained way, to free us both from our cages. This kind of love is not easy in any way, and it works for me, because I personally don't live in a world that is free from the virus and all energy wants to evolve, to respond to the pulsing beat of the All's great purpose and intent, which is why even the virus itself evolves. I simply want to assist the Shadow to evolve in a way that doesn't result in constant entrappedness for either of us.
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Consequently, holistic health practices - of many modalities - I have reached out to over the years. This is one, overall discipline I suppose that I have sustained after almost killing myself on antibiotics about 30 years ago. I have gone down the road of learning some healing modalities as well, including a form of medical intuition but have not gone into practice, although I do treat, when asked, my family members and friends.
I am clearing long term health issues from both antibiotics and cortisone. This is where the intuition comes in so brilliantly- I have learned the hard way that what takes three tablets in other individuals takes a quarter of one in me. I have had to learn about careful choice of any kind of practitioner- nowadays I use my belly breathing and intuition, which is effective right up until the voice in my head tries to convince me I have cancer, then I run into my death fear; I've died twice from the suffocation of asthma as a child, I listened to my mother struggling for breath during the last long hours of her life when she was dying of breast and lung cancer and there is residual and powerful fear in my body of dying in terror and pain like I did as a child. I also actually get really pissed off with recycling, because it interrupts the process that I've been working with in that physical avatar. From childhood I used to tell people that I'd come through this time with assurances that the physical recycling was *not* in the agreement and that I'd be able to have my immortality back. There's apparently a battle within me biologically with the virus as it doesn't like immortals. I can't imagine why. So I oscillate between being able to do things in terms of physically altering my avatar and being frozen in fear within the foreign biology. It's quite weird, feeling like some of the problem is in trapped DNA.
Medical intuition is awesome. I'm into meta medicine and energy psychology because they help me hack the physical elements of the virus as manifests in my biology. I'm also beginning to map the elements of my non-humanness, which responds to things in a very different way.
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Where I have 'officially' practiced is in the field of voice and body training for performance - focussing on the emotional, psychological and physical aspects of ourselves in making meaning and expression. Identifying and working through tensions that inhibit natural and connected communication. In conjunction with this, I have trained and practiced in multiple methods of actor and performance training to stimulate and catalyse creativity - to free the self to a place of just being in the moment, open and available. My role for many years was as a performer but also as a director and trainer to help facilitate a similar journey for others. I have worked with actors and performers principally, but also with writers and later within corporations and governments for cultural change - the hardest job of all. Although successful in what I was doing, I have moved on from this in the last 3 years, because my own growth and evolution needed to be honoured. I have always known that I would be part of a transition - a nebulous word that literally popped into my psyche when I was in my teens - and just stayed there, wondering what to do with itself.
*grins, pointing to self* So many of us are such good actors! My essence Self figured out that if I stayed in that environment my evolution would be sporked, so it arranged for me not to pursue that path, despite the urgings and offers of others. The transition, the feeling of being part of some great transition and evolution, micro and macro, has always been my internal prompting even when it was a faint whisper from three valleys over. I went into body based performance because that seemed to be a better pathway for my evolution; I'm in my head enough as it is, it was my physical intuition and expression that needed connecting with. I was always a dancer.
I have a brilliant article from a few years ago discussing the emerging technology of medical diagnosis through voice analysis- I'd be happy to copy it and post it to you if you're interested, or find out if it's online anywhere. One of my partners and a friend of ours is creating a protype frequency generator that makes contact with the skin, like binaural beats for the body, that are keyed to the healing frequencies. I love frequency healing, I love sound healing (such as bells, crystal bowls, didgeridoo played near me, tuning forks activated and placed on my body- having a crystal bowl on my belly while it's being played would, I've intuited, trigger something big. I haven't been in the space to do that yet). Sound and water dance therapy are my idea of bliss. I love voice stuff because the virus keeps trying to strangle me and cut off my voice.
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The supplements that Songs and Heyoka _11 refer to - I would like to know more - why you take them, and how they are bringing you benefits.
Essentially, everything for me comes down to these things- activating my non-human element and powering up my mind and avatar so that I can have increasingly higher levels of energy and experience going through me without freaking out. The magnesium is primarily to facilitate the non freak-out; if I use the mag oil, there is a smoothing out of the clashing between the homosapien DNA in me and my Otherkind nature; the chronic pain goes down to almost nothing, knots and kinks in my body disappear, I don't get the chronic head aches and distress that have been happening due to the increased planetary dissonance and the effects of my Otherkind trying to wake up. My 17 year old son contacted me recently in great distress because his body was trying to physically shift forms and the pain was excruciating- the planetary miasm that currently exists can make being Otherkind physically painful and distressing. It took me 3 decades to get used to the sun here and I can safely posit that the increased numbers of Otherkind here on the planet have been a boon to the sunglasses industry. My eyes are having all kinds of problems again at the moment, because my Otherkind nature does not like the light here and I'm having trouble seeing where I've never experienced that before. The mag oil and oral supplements also seems to be helping with that, because on a physical level it smooths out muscle.
The vitamin D is something I've realised I need to start doing because frankly, I loathe going out in the sun unless the light is right. My Otherkind form is albino skinned, with the faintest hint of blueness to the shadows, I have eyes that look like the baseball cap wearing hybrid (who, btw, I posted because he is SUCH A cutie!)- I'm not a creature built for beach frolics in the blazing sun. I have never liked the sun here and I have recently been intuiting that vit D supplementation is something I could do well to get into. Thanks for the reminder.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... OM75l225Qg
